"Beer may cause you to digress — and lead a happier life. "
Michael Jackson, the Beer Hunter
"And what dost thou drink? I drink beer if I have it or water if I have not."
Archbishop Alfric's Vocabulary, 995 AD
"The question of drink arose, as it will in the world of art, but the presence of poverty cast a bleak light on the scene. There was, however, this five-gallon jug of raw, unaged homebrew in the kitchen. Of course, it was a crude drink and might produce beastly, undesired effects, but … well … "
Hunter S. Thompson, When Beatnicks Were Social Lions
"There must be more beer, cheaper beer, better beer! People who do not drink beer do not realise that beer is as important to the working classes as bread … Men who find they cannot get beer tend to develop a taste for less-innocent liqours. Good ale and good beer are drinks for the temperate men, and it must be confessed that England has bred a race of mighty fighting men on her national brew. Good beer is the basis of true temperance."
Daily Express (Tell us if you know which one), January 25, 1919
"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that … building … thingie … where our beds and TV … is."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
"The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love. "
13th-century law, City of Augsburg
"There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better."
Stephen Morris, The Great Beer Trek
"Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same."
"Ah, good old trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
"Why we are here:
To tremble at the terrible beauty of the stars,
To shed a tear at the perfection of Beethoven's symphonies, and
To crack a cold one now and then."
US television host David Letterman
"It only takes one drink to get me drunk. The problem is I can never remember if it is the 12th or 13th."
"Englishmen are like their own beer: Frothy on top, dregs on the bottom, the middle excellent."
"Great beer bellies are made, not born."
"Drinking is bad taste but tastes good."
Franklin P. Adams
"For we could not now take time for further search or consideration: our victuals being much spent, especially our beere."
From the diary of a pilgrim before deciding to land at Plymouth Rock in the US
"Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health."
"Okay, the last one to kill a bad guy buys the beer."
Matt LeBlanc in Lost in Space
"I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working."
"It is not 'just beer', it is a noble and ancient beverage which, like wine, food and television advertising, can be extraordinarily good or unmercifully bad."
Stephen Beaumont in World of Beer
" If you can make oatmeal cookies at home, you can brew beer."
Bob Carbone, homebrewer and homebrew judge
"Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them."
"In vino veritas, in cervesio felicitas"
(In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is joy.)
"There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking."
" I've always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap."
"The only advantage of having lived through the Age of Prohibition is that any liquor tastes good."
Don Marquis, American journalist, 1878-1937
"Ale sellers should not be tale tellers."
"Good ale, the true and proper drink of Englishmen. He is not deserving of the name of Englishman who speaketh against ale, that is good ale."
George Borrow, Lavengro, 1851
"Don't drink and drive, you might spill your beer!"
"God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882
"Hermit hoar, in solemn cell,
Wearing out life's evening gray;
Smite thy bosom, sage, and tell,
What is bliss, and which the way?
Thus I spoke; and speaking sigh'ed;
Scarce repressed a starting tear;
When the smiling sage reply'd
Come, my lad, and drink some beer."
"Here sleep in peace a Hampshire grenadier,
Who caught his death by drinking cold small beer;
Soldiers, take heed from his untimely fall,
And when you're hot, drink strong, or not at all."
Epitaph on a soldier's grave
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
"Of all the endeavors pursued by mankind, surely none could be deemed more commendable than the creation of a better beer."
Cooper's Brewery homebrew ad
"Not drunk is he who from the floor
Can rise alone to drink some more.
But drunk is he, who prostrate lies
Without the power to drink or rise."
"If you can see light through your beer, its not good beer."
"Let no man thirst for good beer."
"Beer is the reason we get up each afternoon."
"In Belgium, the magistrate has the dignity of a prince, but by Bacchus, it is true that the brewer is king."
Emile Verhaeren (1855-1916), Flemish writer
"Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer."
"Michael Jackson? His name's not familiar to me. Who's he with?"
Frank Hamsher, Anheuser-Busch, on the Beer Hunter
"Last beer before dry county. Coldest beer in town."
Scary sign in southern United States
"Drink to me."
Dying words of Pablo Picasso
"Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!"
Hunter S. Thompson on the US war against Iraq
"The true enthusiast is probably happiest drinking from an opaque container. It does not allow him to see the small imperfections in the appearance of the beer."
Joy of Cooking
"Of beer, an enthusiast said that it could never be bad, but that some brands might be better than others."
"Two of the more dubious achievements of American culture are white bread and light beer."
Real Beer and Good Eats, Bruce Aidells and Denis Kelly
"It is well known that a horse will eagerly drink up a pint of red wine, and that dogs love beer. "
E.B. Foote, 1902
"I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer."
Social reformer Lady Astor's final word at a temperance lecture
A wag in the crowd
"I like a good beer. Of course, I'll drink a bad one too."
"Let no person thirst for lack of real ale."