homebrewandbeer.com

I'm only saying this on the off-chance someone from that other, lower-IQ, aussie beer-related forum is visiting: FFS DON'T DRINK BLEACH.

Now, back to your usual Fox/Sky commentary..."nothing to see here...Obama = black/bad...Pell=Good Catholic Priest/Not pedo....bla bla bla...private email server ...

Oh, come on everyone. It could be much worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVe7EoRKoXY

Corona

Church of Beer

The beer bottle is a sculpture…
…the beer label scripture…
…the pour a ritual……

...Hangover if it be beer’s will…

……Lack of money a consequence…
….of…….beer devotion, beer’s calling…

…put all that you have into beer’s collection plate…

…Go hungry, but not thirsty…
…..true ...

Why? Because in hot weather some ppl find themselves drinking too much. This recipe is designed to create a drink with plenty of "bite" (unlike alco-free beer), but is almost non-alcoholic.

5 x swing-top 330ml bottles (Aldi sell these from time to time, with German Beer)
2 lemon
1 lime
1 TBSP ...

Beer surrender

beer surrender
take me under
your influence
your flatulence
part-owned by late night greasy-fast-food
let me fail to remember
what’s in my dismembered head
or my stomach as it
flushes down the toilet bowl
in the mirror
yet again, I am
pale faced
looking at near-death
surrendered to ...

AM into PM

drinking AM into PM
beer imparting knowledge that will
soon dissipate
like lollies off a plate
like a Tuesdays with Morrie session
only better
no all-knowing Morrie, no silly book deal
just all-encompassing beer

just me and beer
this pub
and, ok, the barmaid

in my head, laid bare ...

Beer cans

Beer cans can
can get you drunk
and crush your insides
but that’s ok
the liver is not forever
whereas horrible memories that must be forgotten are

beer cans are soothing
unlike reality
biting and cold and generally awful
full of shades of cold-grey buildings
monotone wanks in suits
banks ...

If bottles of beer were bowling pins

if bottles of beer were bowling pins
only f---ing morons would play

Drunken Slumber

drunken slumber
wakey wakey
drunken slumber
under the influence of
a drink or two
drunken slumber
dreams of
bar room fights
girl eating ice cream
an alley full of cats
drunken slumber
barmaid’s friendly shove
back into woke
pay up or get the f--- out

WA

drink ‘till i drop but there’s no more left
i’m still here, money’s bare
run to the store
balaclava
empty the till
run away
buy some more
drink some more
the park is mostly dark
faces mostly black
the one light has a mocking pelican perched above
the ocean waves pound and i fall asleep
wake to ...

End is Nigh

end is nigh
the barmaid signals last drinks with a tender smile, a nod
swallow down, scramble to the bar for one last swill
some old guy passed out on the stool
caught between drunk-slumber and
death via polished concrete floor

end is nigh
the cops are out tonight
the cyclist weaves ...

Scott Moron

Scott Moron wears a red hat
drinks schooners
likes Cook and invaders in general, but probably not ISIS
likes Jesus, the blue-eyed white version at least
works in a hill with a compensating big flag pole on top
likes clean coal and unicorns
no, he didn’t say ‘good people on both sides ...

In the Smoke Haze

In the smoke haze of pubs now gone
cancer centres where they treated the well
gave them cancer
pretended to care
ran a few raffles, fundraisers and shit
but, generally, screwed over the locals for every dollar
their wealth, their health, their self-respect

twenty years later
in ...

Place Your Bets

the punters placed their bets
forgot all their past regret
all the tears that built up behind
the bravado that fell away to, another, loss
sense of lost, being lost
somewhere in that cigarette haze
sign off from worrying
by downing another, another, another
drowning in self, self ...

Sometimes if feels like whatever will do

sometimes it feels like life’s a bore
summertime ‘round the corner
but she’s gone, the one I adore
all that I can find
to kinda replace her
is
spirits, liquor, or beer
not the same, but near-death
I’m in no state to know or to care
fill-'er-up
each glass ...

Beer Drinker, 2049

beer drinker, 2049
android bartender
order the low-gravity mars-grown ferrel hops malt-ale
36.95 Meso a glass
wrist-pay, smash it down
order another, look around
70s disco-era-chick-themed android barmaid scans me, finds i’m unhappy
clicks into cheer-the-customer-up mode
entice ...

Drinking 24/7

drinking 24/7
paving the way for bouncers to earn their keep
drinking 24/7
road carnage just the beginning
drinking 24/7
vomit, toilet, pale-faced in the bathroom mirror
drinking 24/7
coffee and greasy breakfast, useless
drinking 24/7
“good on ya Hawke”
drinking 24/7
sobriety ...

Better to Down the Vodka (silly song lyrics)

you can die from drinking too much water
better to down the vodka

you can get beat up on the playground
better to break into your parents' liquor cabinet
down the vodka

you can spend all day at the pub
slowly getting pissed on 5-percent beer
listening ...

No more beer

no more beer
it takes too long to get drunk
no more beer
craft beer = expensive, rubbish, cocktails
no more beer
the taps have been replaced but expensive, wanky, fine-print-labelled, bottled
and/or
expensive cans are all the rage
wake up, hung-over
wander into Newtown, trying to find ...