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How to make crap beer

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 2:50 pm
by Merlin
Hey guys,

Was Google-ing some beer-related stuff and came across Fosters' brewing process the other day (and I assume the same goes for most of CUB's range too). After describing the mashing and fermenting process, it says (to paraphrase):

Once the yeast is removed the beer is passed from fermentation to storage vessels. Hop extract, which gives beer its characteristic bitter flavour, is added at this stage :shock: :shock: :shock:

The full article is here:
http://www.fostersgroup.com/beer/brewin ... rocess.asp

Is it any wonder we make our own :?:

Cheers

Merlin

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 6:53 pm
by anti-fsck
And the bittering agent (they don't really call it hop extract) is so concentrated that they talk about adding a few millilitres per 10,000 litres of brew ...

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 8:44 pm
by gregb
...the bittering agent ....
I thought they used cat wee.

Greg

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 8:52 pm
by scooper
Yikes!

I guess that explains the "Superior" taste :wink:

Actually, I'd read some time ago that commercial breweries add small amounts of this and that at various points to get each batch identical. I wonder if Fosters have not just over-summerised their own process... That said, I don't think much of most CUB beers.


scooper

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 9:00 pm
by anti-fsck
scooper wrote:Actually, I'd read some time ago that commercial breweries add small amounts of this and that at various points to get each batch identical. I wonder if Fosters have not just over-summerised their own process... That said, I don't think much of most CUB beers.
And there is one of CUB's biggest problems - quality control. The big brewers go to a lot of trouble getting one run of beer to taste like the next, and no two brews are a perfect match. They can get them close, but not identical. Good ole Abbott Lager used to be the "oops, we stuffed up" label. Places like CUB now have a lot more control over the brewing process, and do tweak batches as they go along the line, but the farm gate variables are always there.

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 9:06 pm
by scooper
anti-fsck,

Agreed. It's impossible to get two *identical* batches as there are just too many variables. However, to the average CUB-swilling Aussie, I'm sure it all tastes the same.


scooper

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 9:13 pm
by mordy43
I read where toohey's add a number 2 straight from the bowl just to give it that little zip.

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 9:17 pm
by Merlin
I pose the question then, gentlemen; My dictionary says that beer is "A fermented alcoholic beverage brewed from malt and flavored with hops". Whilst there is little doubt that these beveredges are malt-based (and I say "little" doubt as the ingredients are nowhere to be found on the packaging"), if hop "extract" or "bittering agent" (or cat wee. cheers gregb) are being used instead of actual hops, then this crap foisted upon unwary punters by Fosters, its subsiduaries, and any other major brewer using the method defined below, is it actually beer??

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 9:20 pm
by mordy43
Crap gives off gas as well as brew

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 10:18 pm
by Conrad
I learnt something when I did the Speights Brewery tour in Dunedin in New Zealand a little while back. Like the difference between batch and continuous brewing. I can see that there would be a problem with matching brews in a batch brewing process and if I heard right, the idea of the continuous brewing process what to have mass production of a product that was exactly the same not matter what went into it and when it came off the line.

Not sure if something like Fosters, VB or any of the other CUB beers are brewed continuously but maybe this explains the lack of character?

Posted: Thursday Jun 02, 2005 11:04 pm
by Oliver
Just to explain.

I believe that batch brewing is just like what we do at home. Boil up wort, put in a fermentation vessel, pitch the yeast, wait until it's finished fermenting then bottle/keg.

With continuous brewing, you feed wort into the system at Point A, then a couple of days later at Point B beer comes out to be bottled or kegged. Basically it's a really long pipe in which fermentation takes place. That way you don't have to worry about troublesome batches. You can just set up your bottling line to run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, knowing that as long as the tap is turned on, beer will come out, ready to bottle and flog off to unsuspecting drinkers.

It just doesn't seem right to me.

Oliver

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 12:47 am
by munkey
im not farmilear with your crappy auzzy beers but we in the uk have our fair shair of crappy beer, amongsed some pritty spchal necter. we have a larger called carling... im shure you have all heard of it.. lol. well if you havent its pritty crappy, theres an urben myth that they collect to piss out of urinals in pubs and add some of that super concentrated cat wee bittering agent, then through some sort of chemical cleaning phase, into the watering down chamber, this is ware the water it down soooo much it becomes almost tasteless, then they fizz it up with compressed air and put it in cans, oh and at some point they probably bump ut the alcohol levals with methonol.

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 8:44 am
by db
Merlin wrote:I pose the question then, gentlemen; My dictionary says that beer is "A fermented alcoholic beverage brewed from malt and flavored with hops". Whilst there is little doubt that these beveredges are malt-based (and I say "little" doubt as the ingredients are nowhere to be found on the packaging"), if hop "extract" or "bittering agent" (or cat wee. cheers gregb) are being used instead of actual hops, then this crap foisted upon unwary punters by Fosters, its subsiduaries, and any other major brewer using the method defined below, is it actually beer??
Merlin, No.. but its "made from beer" :wink:

take a beer.. water it down.. chuck in some chemicals.. bottle it.
then spend more on the marketing than ingredients....
not quite sure where the canoe comes into it.. :wink:

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 9:43 am
by Dogger Dan
Conrad,

Actually it is easier actually to batch brew than continuous. When you batch brew you start with everything the same and finish with the same all under the same conditions. Continuous means you are continuosly adding and balancing, a real art, That being said, Coors does it continuously and they shut down once every three weeks to clean so if you can, it really is Cats.

Dogger

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 1:31 pm
by simonb
before I started homebrewing and before I was introduced to Coopers beers I usually drank VB and most other Carlton United crap - I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn't great beer, but thought that it was ok

but now that I know more about beer, I only drink my own, or coopers, or the odd nice belgian creation for something different

I'm really annoyed/angry at the marketing power of the big breweries which allows them to sell the crap they produce ("Made from beer" what a load of shit!) - if only more people new about the mass manufactured rubbish these companies churn out.

I'm also really annoyed that I didn't realise this sooner myself, so I wouldn't have wasted money on it

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 1:36 pm
by Evo
Here here Simon !

I undertook a tireless campaign to get my mates to stop drinking crap. It's a bit rude to ask for a more premium beer in a shout of budget crap, I find. Now we go into a pub and they have a look at the taps rather than mindlessly ordering their CD/VB.

It was a long hard battle but now we ALL reap the benefits.

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 1:44 pm
by Guest
Yes Evo
But when I go to the pub, I'll have a coopers if they have it on tap.

Some guys I know will splurge out on a pint of heineken or a cascade premium think they are doing all right. But to me these are still just big breweries who mass produce stuff that only tastes marginally better than CUB beers. What do you think about that?

And I go into my bottle shop and a slab of Cascade Premuim costs more than a slab of Coopers Sparkling ale. The Coopers beer is a thousand times better than cascade, except that there is no gold wrapping on the stubbies. Again just marketing to push the price up.

Posted: Friday Jun 03, 2005 8:14 pm
by hoo ha man
mordy43 wrote:Crap gives off gas as well as brew
Was'nt it your shout Mordy?

Posted: Saturday Jun 04, 2005 2:43 am
by can-o-worms
What you guys talking about here... didn't you know "Fosters is australian for beer".
For the uninformed -> http://www.australianbeers.com/beers/fo ... osters.htm

... this should probably go in the proposed dictionary as well

Posted: Sunday Jun 05, 2005 8:32 pm
by mordy43
Not if i'm buying that toohey's sluge.Has to be the worlds worst drink since brandavino.