DON'T boil the grain! You'll more than likely get horrible tannins in your beer.
The first post in
this thread gives some (very) brief instructions on steeping grain. Just steep it in hot water. The temp isn't too important as you're not trying to get any enzymatic action going on, just extract flavour and colour. If it's not boiling but it's too hot to put your hand it, it's probably ok. Steep for an hour or so, either in a bag/sock of some kind which you'll then remove (don't be tempted to squeeze it too hard - tannins again), or strain it into your boil pot, then boil with your malt for at least 10 mins to sterilise.
Hops don't have to be boiled - it depends on what you want from them (flavour, aroma, or both).
Hops are fine in the fermenter, even loose. Given enough time, they'll sink to the bottom. Grains don't go in the fermenter.
Until I got a silicone hose to transfer hot wort, I used to use a vinyl hose from bunnings for racking. Softened with hot water, it fits over the fermenter tap (I/D 10mm, I think). Silicone is better as it's food safe, even at boiling (which your beer won't be). I never noticed it, but some might say that even cold vinyl will impart some plastic flavour.
EDIT: added more info.